Take Me To Post Comment Form I asked my fifth grade teacher if I could get two credits for a book report on Moby Dick by Herman Melville. After all, it was 550 pages. He agreed.


At that age, I didn’t comprehend most of the epic biblical themes in that book. “Ishmael is the name of a cast-off son. He is the only survivor found by the ship, “Rachel, named after the mother of lost tribes, “that in her retracing search after her missing children, found only another orphan.


There is a chapter about Jonah, who goes to sea to hide from God and is only delivered from oblivion when he gratefully accepts God’s punishment.


All that religious stuff was lost on me, as my friends well know. Now, at age 60, and after a few more readings and countless hours watching the film versions, I have a much better appreciation of an epic story about a lost soul.


Ahab, a whaling captain, was crippled and scarred by his nemesis, a great whale freak of nature. He was obsessed by hatred on his final voyage, seeking revenge and retribution against the enormous embodiment of pure evil.


At his end, Ahab cries out “To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Tied to his enemy by his own harpoon line, he is drowned.


First Mate Starbuck (you drink his coffee), represents the moral good and was alone among the crew in objecting to Ahab's quest. He declared it madness to want revenge on a dumb animal. Starbuck, and all the rest except for Ishmael, were killed by the whale.


For the past year, I have been fighting an enormous beast, which is the County of Los Angeles. Like Ahab, I am certain that this beast is the embodiment of evil.


From my childhood education, I have progressed in life against the furies of man and nature on the strong legs of truth and justice. Like Ahab, my battles with the beast have left me crippled. County government scoffs at truth and justice. The County whale has blubber made from massive lies and stupidity that insulates and protects the dumb beast.


My story is all about trying to get a house built for my family. I bought land. I hired consultants. Eight lots that were entitled in 1971 were recorded in 2002. The consultants drilled and inspected deep geological holes. The consultants developed topographic surveys with airplanes and cameras and computers. I obtained permits and drilled wells to support the necessary soils compaction. Plans were submitted and approved for the grading, which involved digging, moving and compacting over 43,000 cubic yards of dirt. If that volume were put into concrete trucks parked end to end, the line would run for 24 miles. Bids came in too high, so I bought a bulldozer and did most of the earthwork myself over a 2 year period.


Now the LA County Dept. of Regional Planning says I can’t build any houses without their special permission. Despite the fact that the earthwork is completely done on two lots, they want to send me through a process that examines and assures environmental protection. Despite the fact that I have on-site wells and septic systems, they want to send me through a process that assures minimum impact on infrastructure.


My zoning requires a 1-acre minimum lot size. Despite the fact that my lots were entitled in 1971, Regional Planning wants to enforce a hillside management ordinance enacted in 1982 that restricts density. The calculated high-low density in that ordinance is from 2 to 12 houses. All I want to do is build 8 houses, one house at a time, on lots that are 2 to 4 acres in size. My planned density falls within the range of the ordinance, but they want to force me through a punitive review process before I can build even the first house.


I have had one house plan checked and ready for a building permit for 8 months. Regional Planning says that I have a one-house exemption. I submitted plans for their approval, but they refused twice to look at it.


The arrogance and stupidity of County personnel, if boiled into barrels, would solve the current oil crisis.


I have two wells that were drilled with proper permits. One well produces 18 gallons per minute. The other well produces 8.5 gallons per minute. I have had the yield tested professionally, but the Dept. Environmental Health didn’t like the test. Only 4,320 gallons are needed in 24 hours, and my well produced over 12,000 gallons, but they didn’t like the test. They would not look at my charts and calculations. Common sense means nothing to the dumb beast.


Environmental Health is run by a guy who says he is enforcing regulations intended to protect public health. That guy can’t even regulate his own intake of food. He is one donut short of a massive heart attack. He runs his mouth without listening. If anything every needed harpooning….


All my important communications have been by professional letters sent by certified mail. I have complained to the County Supervisor. I have complained to Department Heads. I have waited 5 months for clarifications on my septic system application corrections. I have waited 5 months for clarifications about new and unpublished arsenic mitigation regulations. I have waited 2 months for a simple acknowledgement that I have installed equipment and submitted for a permit for arsenic treatment.


Dealing with LA County is exactly like sitting in a boat in the middle of the ocean and foolishly hoping that the deep submerged whale will sometime surface within shouting distance.


Like Ahab, I am bitter. I can’t sleep at night for the obsessive and murderous thoughts. I am planning my revenge. My friends tell me: “Revenge is like taking poison and waiting for the other guy to fall down. And: “When you plan your revenge, be sure to dig two graves. As I am sharpening my harpoons, I know they are right.